Or would it be funnier as...

...Henry James wrote novels like a philosopher, while William James wrote philosopher like a novels?

You know what they say...

...William James wrote philosophy like a novelist, while Henry James wrote novelist like a philosophy.

Now someone write me a medieval epic adventure into which I may insert this scene

We've reached a critical juncture in this medieval epic. The band of adventurers have been arguing and on the verge of breaking up. The air is thick with silent tension as they stare each other down. The silence is broken by a melodious ringing.
1: Hold on a second, shit.
He fumbles with his armor and eventually pulls out a cellphone.
1:Hello?
pause for response
1: No.
pause for response
1: I'm on this fucking adventure.
pause for response
1: No, not that one.
pause for response
1: Yes.
pause for response
1: Yes, the big one.
pause for response
1: I dunno, like a couple fucking months.
pause for response
1: Yeah.
pause for response
1: I don't think so.
pause for response
1: I highly doubt it.
pause for response
1: (laughs) You have a point there.
pause for response
1:Okay
pause for response
1: Okay. See you when I see you. Bye.
He hangs up.
1: Sorry about that.