The Greatest Day Ever

Friday, July 17, 1987
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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Greatest Day Ever'.

The Sun

"We're going into the sun," they chanted, their legs pumping in excitement. "We're going into the sun," over and over again. And what do you think they found there? Elves, of course.
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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Sun'.

The Last Supper

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."

The disciples all nodded in agreement. Sure it could be hard sometimes, but right now, with all the love in the room, it was easy. He didn't fully lose them until he got into his extended vine metaphor.

"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing what is going on down there?"

"James is throwing rolls at me."

"I am not!"

"Then why are there rolls all over the ground?"

"Maybe because you're stupid,"

"Will you two please stop?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Neither did I!"

"You were throwing rolls at me!"

"I was not!"

"Ok fine. Everyone move to the same side of the table. There now nobody can throw rolls."

"It's too crowded now"

"If you have a problem, Peter, take it up with James and his brother."

"I was an entirely innocent victim in his attacks"

"Ok fine, sorry. Now where was I? Right. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch"

"BEEP"

"HE IS CAST FORTH AS A BRANCH, AND IS WITHERED; AND MEN GATHER THEM, AND CAST THEM INTO THE FIRE Thomas will you stop beeping!"

"BEEP"

"Alright, a new commandment I give unto you, thou shalt not make random noises at the the table. There, are you happy?"

"BAWOOOP"

"He's throwing rolls at me again!"

"I am not!"

Thank God this is the last one of these thought Jesus.
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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'A Last Supper'.

Laundromat

Depressed Young Man sits in an empty laundromat. He stares at his laundry spinning around in the drier, like the detritus of his life. He sure is depressed.

DYM: I can't get over my last girlfriend. We were so perfect together. I used to just stare into her eyes for hours. She left me.

Enter Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She's covered in sparkles. She has a guitar slung over one shoulder, and a parrot cage full of her clothes on the other.

MPDG: HI!

DYM: hi

Manic Pixie Dream Girl puts her clothes in the washer, still in the parrot cage.

MPDG: I'm just so crazy!

DYM: I think that might ruin the washer.

MPDG: Silly! You worry too much!

DYM: I find your antics make me somewhat uncomfortable, yet at the same time they are completely alluring.

MPDG: I know!

DYM: Still, I'm so heartbroken that it'll take forty-five minutes for me to get over it.

MPDG: I know what you need! Bubbles!

She grabs Depressed Young Man's detergent and pours a copious amount in each washer. She leaves the lids open, and soon the landromat is covered in bubbles.

DYM: I'm pretty sure this is illegal.

MPDG: Don't worry about it! Live in the moment!

DYM: I feel myself coming out of my stupor, but I'm still scared. I know why I love you, but I can't figure out why you love me.

MPDG: Here let me explain it through song.

(She picks up here guitar and sings)

I'm just a ridiculous male fantasy.
I don't have an interior life.
I exist solely to serve your character arch.

And on it goes.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Laundromat'.