Last night

Last night my roommates spent three hours trying to convince me to kill myself and every time I responded they repeated what I said in a high pitched mocking voice.

Idea for a Sitcom Episode

A modern day man shows up in the early 19th century, and goes about wooing Elizabeth Bennett, much to the chagrin of Mr. Darcy. As the episode draws to a close, it's revealed to be self insertion Pride and Prejudice fanfiction, which the authors two friends are reading and laughing at.

Disaffection

Disaffection is usually an affectation.

A man

I saw a man sitting on a concrete barrier in the middle of I-15. He seemed to be surveying traffic. I have no idea what this meant.

A New Hope?

1: So how'd it go?
2: Not good.
1: What'd she say?
2: She said I was the nicest guy she knows, and that she thinks of me as a brother.
1: Ouch.
3: That's great!
2: Great?
1: It doesn't sound good dude.
3: Think about it. Reverse the first two letters of nicest and what do you get? That's right incest. She thinks of you as a brother, and she's into it.

Carrots

The problem with carrots is that they taste like carrots.